1. The ferry boat is a trap.
On busy days, cast members will try to lure visitors out of the monorail queue by saying the ferry boat takes the same amount of time. Do not believe their lies!
2. It’s damn near impossible to walk down Main Street USA in the morning because everyone wants their Cinderella Castle photo op.
Professional Disney PhotoPass photographers, family groups, couples, forever-alone Disneyphiles — everyone is funneled down Main Street and everyone has to stop in the middle of the street and take an iconic picture.
3. Walt Disney believed in magic, not shade.
Sure, you see trees in the Magic Kingdom…The magic is somehow they don’t ever throw shade onto the walkways. Be prepared to drop some serious cash on an ice-cold spritzer fan.
4. Disney also did not believe in bench seating.
With over 17 million visitors per year, you’d think Disney would have bench seating scattered throughout the MK Park. You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.
5. The Magic Kingdom calls the fireworks the “Kiss Goodnight” instead of the more accurate “Kiss of Death.”
The end-of-day fireworks, “Wishes”, are amazing. Stay for them! But know what you’re getting into. Literally thousands, if not tens of thousands, of other guests also stayed to watch Wishes, meaning you will all be herded like cattle into the monorails afterward. It’ll be the longest line you stand in all day; it will be very late and your dogs will be barking!
6. The Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse is a trap.
There is never a line for this “ride” because it isn’t a ride — it is exercise masquerading as entertainment. No one under 35 even knows what this treehouse is about (anyone have a VHS copy of the movie???), much less wants to climb 116 steps to look at non-animatronic sets full of Victorian-era stuff.
7. Rides break down…a lot.
Not dangerous “Tell my wife I love her” breakdowns, but “Sorry, a wheel is slightly out of alignment SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING,” so just be prepared. It’ll happen at least twice per day for the major attractions.
On the Winnie the Pooh ride, they’ll say, “Pooh spilled some honey on the tracks” if the breakdown will be less than 15 minutes, so don’t get out of line.
Cast members call these breakdowns ‘Code 101’ for: attraction is down.
8. Cast members don’t care if you just take a photo of your ride photo and don’t buy it.
Seriously. Like your on-ride photo but are short on cash? Just snap a few angles from your cell phone. No will stop you. No one cares. Then you can instantly share them on Facebook and make your friends jealous!
9. Unless you can actually see the ride’s cars/boats/doom buggies, etc, never think you are close to the end of the line.
Never get your hopes up and never believe you are close to the front of the line unless you see guests loading on the ride. The major attractions are full of blind turns and switchbacks to keep guests in the dark and mollified while they slowly shuffle along. Many rides now have interactive screens to entertain guests in line.
10. No one listens to the numerous “no flash photography” warnings.
OK, this one is kinda irritating to deal with. Disney is full of dark rides that require guests to sit in the dark (obviously) and not take photos every five seconds. This is an impossibly Herculean task for some guests hell-bent on recording family memories and blinding everyone in the process. Worse are the videotapers who record the entire ride on their iPad/cell phone. Distracting!
11. Face characters no longer freely roam the MK Park.
You want to meet your favorite princess or other Disney character? Hope you’re ready to stand in line for up to 1 – 5 hours for the privilege of that autograph and photo op. The lines for Anna & Elsa meet & greet (“Frozen”) are the worst (over 3 hours in Summer 2014)!!
12. The best place to see characters out and about is in the World Showcase at Epcot.
Every pavilion has matching characters (i.e., Snow White can be found outside Germany) outside meeting with guests all day long. Rarely are the lines more than 10-12 people long (about a 5 minute wait).
Watch the best video of A Day at Magic Kingdom EVER:
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